Turning Tables.

I don't know if you even read this blog, let alone even know if it exists?

I can't stand hearing your name. I wish you could drop off the face of the earth. I can't stand anything to do with you. But at the same time i wish i could wrap you up and cuddle you forever and just feel connected or close to you again. I don't miss you specifically. I just miss connecting to someone.

I think i just miss having someone. I just want to spoon with someone at night, and see everyday, and someone to have sex with and kiss whenever i want, and love someone and have them love me back. Not as a casual hook up, but just as the one they want to be with. I miss feeling special. You stopped making me feel special months before we even broke up. I miss being loved so much. Maybe that's why i'm always around my friends, or being so drunk i can't see straight, or speeding in my car with the music so loud that i can't think over it, or stuffing my face or starving myself, or making out with anybody who looks twice at me.

I really need someone to pull me in for a cuddle and smile at me and give me some of their time. I'm so incredibly lonely. So lonely. You really fucked me over.